


When I Stepped Outside

by Ember2123



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Insecurity, Running Away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 23:15:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12851589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ember2123/pseuds/Ember2123
Summary: It was a late Tuesday night and Jake was hiding behind the wooden white archway that led into the kitchen. His parents were fighting again, loud and violent curses being hurled across the room at each other. Jake had been listening to them all night from his bedroom. He used to cover himself with the blankets and attempt to drown the noise out with his watery singing, but tonight was different. Usually they fought about Dad’s job or his questionably late hours, but Jake could hear his name in all the yelling this time.Based off Season 3, Episode 14: Karen Peralta





	When I Stepped Outside

It was a late Tuesday night and Jake was hiding behind the wooden white archway that led into the kitchen. His parents were fighting again, loud and violent curses being hurled across the room at each other. Jake had been listening to them all night from his bedroom. He used to cover himself with the blankets and attempt to drown the noise out with his watery singing, but tonight was different. Usually they fought about Dad’s job or his questionably late hours, but Jake could hear his name in all the yelling this time. He quietly crept down the stairs and watched as spit flew from his mother’s bright red face. 

“Jake needs his father right now, yet you’re never around! What could be more important than your son?” She asked vehemently.

“Uh- how about my job! My paycheck is keeping this whole house afloat, how am I supposed to do both?”

“We’re doing fine right now- you’re cheating on me!”

“You’re paranoid!”

“You’re cheating on this family and you don’t have the balls to admit it! Who is she, huh? Some filthy flight attendant slut!” Her words were cutting and bitter.

“I’m not fucking staying for this! You’re insane!” His Dad said with a heavy finger pointing accusingly at her. He turned to grab his jacket and slammed the door on his way out. Jake’s mother let out an irritated groan as the anger boiled over before turning into grief. A small sob erupted from her as she went to the liquor cabinet and grabbed her bottle of wine. She forwent the ice this time and drank deeply from the bottle.

Jake pulled his eyes off his mother and slowly started back up the stairs. He felt like there was cotton in his head, numbing the emotions that tumbled and tore through him. His parents didn’t love each other anymore- that was evident- but was Dad cheating on Mom? Did he even love Jake anymore? He wasn’t sure, but it made his heart sore. Maybe if he was out of the picture, his parents could work through everything together. He couldn’t cause anymore problems if he wasn’t there, right? 

Jake let his thoughts ruminate as he grabbed a duffle from his closet. He began to pack away some clothes and a couple bills he had hidden away in his room. His mother never gave him much money, but he held onto what he could in case. He didn’t know what he had been waiting for, but his parents relationship has been strained for years. Subconsciously, this always must have been the plan. 

Jake tried to ignore that thought as he zipped up his bag. He had taken his time as he packed, silently dreading being out in the cold for an indefinite amount of time. He wasn't even sure where he was going to go that night other than making a small little nest on the street with his jacket. He looked over his room for a couple moments before flipping off the lights and closing his bedroom door. 

He softly descended the stairs and lurked past the kitchen towards the door that led into the garage. His mother was passed out on the kitchen table, one hand curled around her red wine. Jake dropped his bag at the door, and went back to drape a blanket over his mother’s shoulder. She grumbled slightly and opened a eye drearily. 

“Jakey-” She mumbled with loose and uncoordinated lips. “We used to be so h...happy,” she paused as the alcohol hit her again and fatigue began to pull her out of consciousness. “- before you.” She was asleep again in a moment. Jake felt tears burn at his eyes, but he didn't let them fall.

He kissed his mother on the forehead, and started towards the door again. “I'll be out of your hair soon, mom. Then you and Dad will be happy again.” Jake pulled the heavy door open and walked out into the freezing cold of the garage. He had expected it to be empty- his father having left with the car hours ago. He usually never came home before morning when they fought. But the garage door was open and the light was on. 

The car had been backed in and Jake was still unseen by its occupants. He climbed down the three steps onto the chilled concrete and moved so he could see what was going on within the car. He saw his father and a woman he had never met before through the cloudy glass. The windows were closed and Jake imagined that the heat was on full blast. His father’s jacket was tossed carelessly into the back seat and his female friend wasn’t wearing many clothes herself. If his father wasn’t watching her so intently, he would be able to clearly see his son peering in. Even with the shut windows, Jake could hear them in muffled syllables. 

“Here? Aren’t you married?” The woman asked playfully.

“Yeah- I want to be here. She can catch us anytime, fuck- let her watch.” He groaned.

“Kinky,” She whispered into his ear as she rubbed her fingers down his chest.

“Ju-Just- Fuck-” He responded as she popped the button on his jeans. Jake turned away in disgust as bile climbed up his throat. Mom was right- of course she was right. Jake quickly ran out of the garage and into the street. The air stung at his exposed fingers and neck. With every step he took, he felt his bag growing heavier on his shoulders. Everything was numb, but the sight of his father kissing that woman- it made him feel raw and exposed. Before he felt muted. Like he couldn’t feel at all. But in the garage- his father- her hands. 

Now he felt the swirling of fear and sadness warring in his gut. The tears froze on his face as he wept, but he didn’t stop walking. As he traveled down the street, the bright lights of the local laundromat pulled him in. It looked warm inside and was open all night. He hiked his bag up a little higher and walked into the building. The room was straight from the seventies, the washers and dryers just as old. The smell of detergent was deeply ingrained within the linoleum tiles and torn wall paper. It smelt nice though, better than the exhaust in the garage. Jake threw his bag on the floor and sat down against the timeworn machines. 

Grief pulled at him as he remembered his mother asleep on the table and the words she spilled when he found her. This was all his fault. His parents were happy until he was born. He caused all the fighting and it drove his father away. Now, Dad had someone else and he didn’t need Mom. Didn’t need Jake. 

He screamed until his voice was hoarse and his shirt was soaked with his own tears. Petite hands on his father, the heat steaming the car windows, imaging his mother walking out into the garage with that woman’s mouth on- Jake launched onto his feet and desperately searched for the bathroom. He was on his knees in front of the toilet in seconds- emptying his stomach in disgust. The rest of the night was a blur as sobs wracked his meager frame on the floor of the washroom. He slipped into a fitful sleep as the tears and snot dried onto his skin, until a low gravely voice woke him in the morning. 

“Kid- come on wake up. You can’t sleep here.” The man said as Jake came to. The voice belonged to a police officer who was crouching down in front of him. Jake sat up and wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

“Sorry- I don’t-” Jake looked around in confusion before remembering the events of the night before. “Sorry” Jake looked at the old flooring in shame.

“It’s okay kid, just get up and let me take you home. Do your parents know where you are?” Jake shook his head glumly and got to his feet. The young officer walked out with him and Jake quickly grabbed his bag as they left the laundromat. The police car was parked against the lip of the sidewalk and the cop opened the door to the backseat for him. The hard plastic seats made Jake feel like a prisoner. He didn’t like the feeling. 

“Where do you live?” The officer asked and Jake responded with his address. The officer was going to speak with Jake’s parents and they were gonna be angry. Angry that he ran away, angry that the police found him. Another problem caused by Jake. The thought lodged into his side like a thorn and a low whine was hidden in the back of his throat. Jake was afraid he was going to be sick again. “So, you ran away?” The officer asked lightly.

“Yeah,” Jake said quietly. “Last night.”

“It was cold, you should’ve stayed home. But the laundromat is better than the street.” 

“Yeah” He repeated.

“Why’d you leave?”

“Nothing, it was stupid anyway.” It was silent for the rest of the ride. The walk last night had seemed like forever, but the car made it back to his home within a few short minutes. The officer parked outside the house and turned to look at Jake in the backseat. 

“Look- if there's a reason you ran away, if something is so bad at home that you ran away on the coldest night of the month, you can tell me.” Jake just shook his head and the officer looked him over quietly. The man turned around and rummaged around the glove compartment for a moment before pulling out a notepad and a pen. He scribbled down a few lines and shoved the paper at Jake. “Take this and keep it with you. It’s my name and phone number. If you ever need my help, just call this number and I’ll come help you. Okay?” Jake nodded and gave him a small smile.

“Thank you.”

“Okay kid, let’s go talk to your parents.” Jake nodded and pulled himself and his bag out of the car. He safely stuffed the paper into the front pocket of his duffle. When the officer knocked on the door, it swung open immediately- revealing Jake’s harried mother. She looked frazzled, her brown hair tousled and messy on her shoulders. She was still in the clothes she was wearing last night. When she saw her son’s face, relief overtook her and she pulled her son into a huge hug.

“Jake! Oh Jakey! Never do that again, you had me so worried!” She said, her arms warm around him. It reminded Jake of how she held her wine. 

“Sorry Mom,” Jake responded with a watery voice. “I didn’t mean to worry you.” He thought she would have been happy to wake up to his empty room. He never thought that she would feel concern. They pulled apart and Jake’s mother led them into the house. The policeman spoke with her privately for a few minutes while Jake sat at the table in silence. He was too busy wrestling his own thoughts to pay attention to the rest of the room. He did notice his mother’s wine gently tucked back into its usual spot. 

Before the officer left he gave a small wave and a warm smile and said, “Take care of yourself kid.”

Jake imagined that most kids got in trouble after running away. He thought that his parents would ground him or even yell in the way they so often yelled at each other. But, his mother said little more to him that day beyond sending him to his room to unpack his duffle. His father never mentioned it. Instead of talking to Jake, they averted their eyes and shot heavy looks at each other across the kitchen table. The house stayed quiet for the next few nights, a suspicious silence that broke within a week. Once they began fighting again, the familiar yelling and screaming attacked his ears twice as hard as before.

“He left because you made him feel invisible!” Karen yelled.

“He left because of your drinking!” His father defended. Jake just buried himself deeper under the covers. They were fighting over him again and it made Jake sick to his stomach.

The cacophony of voices was cut off with the sound of the front door slamming slut and the jingling of the liquor cabinet opening. Jake pulled himself out of the safe den of his bed and wandered desperately to his duffle bag. He pulled out the paper and looked down at the black scrawl. 

_Norm Scully ___  
_917-899-1001_

_________ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

____

____Jake didn’t call him, but he brought the slip of paper back to bed with him and fell asleep to the memory of the man’s warm smile and kind promise._ _ _ _

____Jake’s father left one night a few weeks later and never came back._ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking of continuing this story further, but then I caught up in another fan fiction so I'm posting it as is. If you would like to read more, just leave a comment and I'll try to work something out. Thanks friends!


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